i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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