Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
