He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
