I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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