I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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