I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
