You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
