Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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