he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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