So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
