if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
