I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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