Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have fence marks all over my body
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
