You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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