I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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