Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She's the barista slut.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Two words: blizzard sex
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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