I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
