Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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