how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
