I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
