eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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