it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
