What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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