just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
