she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
