I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
