just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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