4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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