hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
