Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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