I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
