i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Life is so much better after having sex.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
