i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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