it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
