Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
