i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
