Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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