I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
