there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We are all done wearing pants today
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
