so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
