I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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