I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
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Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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