Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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