fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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