Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
