you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
