I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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