good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
