At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
