you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
