You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
