My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
