at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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