I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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