No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
