K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
